Thursday, October 21, 2010

  Today, I miss my mom, I miss her every day but some days her absence is palpable. She and I were more like best friends than mother and daughter. We would walk down the street sharing secrets and jokes, giggling, and bumping into each other. She was a working mom and a note writer. If she left the house without seeing me, there was a note waiting for me for me when I got up. I usually found an I love you note written on some random slip of paper stuffed in my lunch bag and reminders or to-do lists pinned to my coat or purse. When post-it notes came on the scene, there were colorful sticky notes everywhere. A reminder on the bathroom door about who had bathroom cleanup duty this week, a yellow note stuck to the fridge with a list of leftovers that needed to be eaten, a note stuck to the hampster cage that just said "stinky", point taken....
  Mom also sent cards. She had a stack of cards for every occasion, stamps and her overstuffed address book with her where ever she was. She didn't write letters, she was too busy for that, but she sent off cards to people on a daily basis. It would be just a few words to let you know that she was thinking about you, maybe a comic strip or photo to make you laugh, and  of course, her signature smiley face.
  Birthday cards with money in them came to me every year, even when I was an adult with children of my own. It wasn't a lot of money, usually $5 with a sticky note that said "spoil yourself". It was such a treat that I always tucked it away and kept it seperate from the other cash in my wallet, waiting for just the right thing to spend it on.... A hot and frothy Cappucchino and a few quiet minutes in some lovely little coffe shop, or some pretty stickers that I wouldn't normally spend money on.Whatever it was, I would think about my mom while I enjoyed her gift.
  I was out of the country when she died. It was sudden and I didn't get to say good-bye.  I came home a day or two after she died,  when I got to her house I found a stack of cards next to her chair. She had been writing "thinking of you" cards, and a birthday card  to a four year old friend,  in the card was a $5 bill with a sticky note. I mailed the greeting cards and the birthday card with a notes of my own tucked inside...
  I wonder how many people she touched over the years with her notes and cards, how many peaceful, pleasant moments her little cash gifts supplied? She was a woman who knew how to quietly make the world a better place. I think this year I will carry on where she left off, sending cards out to say "hi" or "I was just thinking about you...", with the hopes of continuing her efforts, and I won't forget the Post-Its!


  1. This is so sweet. I have been thinking of my mom too -- she did many of the same things, sent cards, typed me letters --she died in October (her favorite month) and I have thought of her every day. But aren't we lucky to have had such wonderful moms? Best wishes to you.

  2. This is a lovely post. I'm going to send my mom a card. She's 96 and doesn't write cards anymore. I usually tuck a little money into the card for her. She love it. She doesn't go out shopping but she loves know that she's got some bucks in her purse.

  3. Pamela,
    I am sorry about your loss... the first year is the hardest, after that good memories start to ease the pain some. Yes, I believe we are blessed!

  4. Mim, It sounds like you are an attentive daughter. It is nice that you help her to feel independant. be 96...that takes fortitiude!