Finally, on Shabbat this week, I was able to grab my stack of letters to be answered, and make my way through most of the pile. I designed an envelope to send them in and have them all addressed and stamped. I feel much better now...
The whole month of August was spent coming to grips with bad medical news for my husband and then follow up appointments and medical "procedures" to try and treat the problem. For My husband, an avid hiker and outdoorsman, having to spend most of his time under fluorescent lights, inside windowless treatment rooms was alot like caging a wild animal. Fortunately and unfortunately, what can be done for him has been done...we can now try to return to our lives, try to ignore all that we have learned and act like everything is going to be OK...pray that everything is going to be OK...
In times of stress or heartache I have always turned to prayer and then to letterwriting and mailart to help me keep my balance. But this month, I was struck silent. I couldn't find any words to say that didn't sound hollow. I found myself sitting and staring, I didn't see anyone or talk to anyone outside of my family. I just drew up inside myself somewhere and held my emotional breath, hoping that I would soon wake up and find I'd had a bad dream.
During that time letters came to my mailbox. Fun and colorful envelopes filled with salve for my stinging heart. Little gifts and drawings from my favorite 6 years old pen pal, a rubber cut of a steampunk bird from a friend and fellow stamp carver, stories of daily life, letters full of humor, hope and joy. The stack grew and grew, and I felt fortunate to have people in my life who will take the time out of their day to write me. With time I found my voice and my pen would write words that felt like they had some weight, but I still don't have the words to express what your letters have meant to me this month. Most of you didn't have any idea what was going on in my life, but your letters helped me to make it through. Thank you.
A Steampunk bird rubber cut from friend and fellow stamp carver
A "sweet" surprise from a new friend
A Year of Letters